Archive for December, 2004

Hee :)

Currently Reading
Kingdom of the Golden Dragon
By Isabel Allende

Hey, someone actually replies to this. LOL. ^^’ Yeah, I read alot. I finished my other book and now I’m onto…. “Kingdom of the Golden Dragon.” I read like 3-4 books this weekend cus I was that bored and I’m actually miss home-made food. I don’t even care if its Mexican food, I’m beginning to dislike microwave food ALOT. Yeah, I’m Mexican, what about it? Actually, I’m partial Mexian. Why? Well, my dad was born in El Salavador, so I’m half Salvadorean mixed in with Mexican, French, Indian, and American…..on my mom’s side.

Friends…

Currently Reading
Memoirs of a Geisha : A Novel
By ARTHUR GOLDEN

I’m so bored when I’m supposed to be doing my work. -_-‘

[Start 10:25 PM 12/4/04]
So, I haven’t been on my computer for a while. You know, the first thing I thought this morning when I woke up, well, yeah, my back hurts again, but “Happy Birthday, Manny.” He turns 19 today and I hope it was a good day for him. Seriously. Its already the 5th for him, so his B-day is over cus he’s 3 hours ahead, but to me, its still the 4th.

Anyways, nuttin much to report these days cus there hasn’t been a big event yet. Sure, we got some movies today, so I watched Harry Potter for the second time and then I saw Dawn of the Dead. That wasn’t a scary movie to me. It just…was a gross movie. That’s about it. I don’t get why everyone or why it began for the zombies to appear all of a sudden. That made no sense to me.

We talked to my cousin Adrian today, and he was cool and all like always unlike his younger bro, Dennis. Adrian seems alot more interesting to me than Dennis, but that’s probably b/c Dennis is sleeping most of the time after going to his parties. I have NEVER met my cousin Adrian. Only Dennis and that’s b/c Adrian was out in the navy. He’s not anymore since his accident, which got him retired and now they pay him for life since he’s on disabilty and b/c he was on the job when the accident happened.

Listening to “Obsession” and “Edge” of .Hack, “Simple and Clean” by Hikaru Utada of KH, and a bunch of songs from Inuyasha like “Furai Mori.” I love that song by Do As Infinity.

Um, that’s about all the stuff that’s been going on other than my mom is making us go to church tomorrow after a couple of years. Why, I don’t know.
[End 10:37 PM 12/4/04]

[Start 6:18 PM 12/6/04]
So, I posted up my poem on Anime Rise for Manny, but was there any people who replied? No. None. 4 other people read it. That’s it. Did Manny read it on his own? No. Of course not. He posted on some other topic, but he didn’t even bother to check the poetry section. I don’t know why I even bother going to AR anymore. The board IS DEAD and Anime Rise is so not a good name at all to catch attention. Screw it. The onlt other reason I still am there is because of its new art gallery.

And today, I’m just straight out depressed again. No . . . I correct that, I’m showing my sad side. Oh, sure, you see me at school LOOKING happy, but I’m really not at all, and haven’t been for a LONG, LONG time. Just thinking of Manny, makes me very sad, and now . . . only a little happy. Only a little, and that’s just saddening to me to even write that. It’s not his fault. Probably its just mine and mine alone. Loving him is not enought, not enough that I can see, and it hurts me. Just plain hurts to realize it. I mean, yeah, I wish I could meet him face-to-face soon, so would things be different? Would things change? Would I be happier? Would I be able to only cry tear of happiness and not pain?

I think I’ve always been looking for someone like Ryu. I always knew that. I’ve always known.

Now, I have other bullshit to worry about. WHO THE FUCK DOES DANIEL THINK HE IS? He’s pissed at me. I know b/c he won’t even say hi to me me, or when I grabbed his backpack, he didn’t even try to look at me. He WALKED AWAY FROM ME. WTF?!? Is he still fucking mad b/c I took his seat on the bus??? What kind of bullshit is that? He took my seat before when my friend was saving it for me, and I didn’t take a grudge. I learn to FORGIVE! So, who the fuck is he to stay pissed at me for a damned simple thing. You know what, I should be the one pissed at him for standing behind me in school while I was sending a DEEPLY PRIVATE e-mail to my beloved Kev (that he read when I told him to shut up and GO AWAY!)! He needs to grow the fuck up! To IGNORE me for something stupid it stupid upon itself. WHO THE FUCK CARES IF I TOOK YOUR SEAT?!?!

And do you know what else is shit? Parents! They give these whole set of RULES to DAUGHTERS than GUYS! My friend had to “breakup” with her boyfriend IN FRONT of her parents because they didn’t like him simply because of how “bad” he dresses(which he doesn’t) and how his brother acts. WTF?!? You can’t judge all people by their family or friends. That’s is so dumb.

Hell, I wouldn’t want people to judge me simply because I look “dark.” I dress for the sheer pleasure of how I feel. If I feel like wearing black, I’ll wear the damn color. You can’t judge me on that. You can’t judge me by my race either! I’m not some dumb Hispanic! I work as hard as I could to get through school and home-life at the same time. Don’t judge me until you’ve met me.

Then Ryu hasn’t PMed me back and I’m pissed at that too. Later, peeps.
[End 6:40 PM 12/6/04]

Ugh

Currently Reading
City of the Beasts
By Isabel Allende

I need a skin for this thing,. The reason I don’t like Xanga is cus their free accouts suk. and then blogger.com is goving me problems. It sux. Like I have the money. If I had money, I would be driving by now in my car for that stupid driver’s training. I got a B- on my AP test, which was good since I usually get ….D.

Hm, since blogger getting on my nerve, I’m just going to post entries that I haven’t put up right now. Long Post:

[Start 11: 48 AM 11/25/04]
Nothing much. I haven’t written in my blog since…well, right now I can’t remember. LOL. I’m a Junior now and almost 17 in like a few months. I have a car. Its this navy blue Honda Civic LX and it needs a bit of work. I mean, it needs new tires, so I can’t drive it around much right now, not that I want to go somewhere with it cus I’m afraid to drive. NO, not afraid to drive in general, but afraid to DRIVE THAT CAR. I’m not used to driving standards, so, when I start the car and drive forward I either kill it or it just “shoots” forward really fast that I’m afraid to hit something on accident. ^^’ Altho, the good side to my car is that it has a CD player with this AMP system, so the car and the ground VIBRATES from the big speaker in the back. “Bump it UP!”

So, one day, when I drive to school instead of taking the bus, my car is going to go by the front of the school with my friends walking and the other students and my car’s going to be all loud playing Linkin Park or sumtin. That would be sweet. ^^’ I’d be showing off.

Of course, I have to take my brothers with me to school. I KNOW they dun want to ride the bus any longer and I can’t say I blame them. I HATE the bus, partly b/c of the driver, partly b/c we get home/to school 1 hour later, and b/c we have to get up so darned early. 6:00 is just too early for me especially when I have HW up until midnight.

I’ve been going the lounge more than any other site. I dun have the internet right now, so I’m doing this from school. Anyways, The Ronin Lounge (http://roninlounge.com) changed to Anime Rise (http://animerise.com), which I think kind of really sux now. Not b/c of the PPL, but the name. Some of the members joined up since before EZ board, I think, and it all started b/c of a Ronin Warriors board. I think the Ronin Lounge sounded like a cool name, but Anime Rise?!?!? C’mon, now! That sounds lame in my point of view. There are too many names starting with “Anime.” Its getting so over used. Anime chains, Anime generations, anime world, anime galaxy, anime land, etc., etc. You get my point?

And even before the board changed, it was dying and still is. France left the lounge, or so I hear/read. Why? I think it was the Clanball Wars RPG which was moved to The Bent Lounge (http://studiobent.com/forum/). I kind of don’t like the Bent Lounge for reasons that shall not be spoken out loud b/c 1)It’s personal against someone who I liked well and then he backstabbed me 2)It’s personal w/ another person I like well also, and he backstabbed me too 3)It just hurts altogether to remember.

You wanna know what happened, huh? Well, I’m not going to explain my pain even on blog. It’s my pain alone, and it affected my life all on its own. It’s why I dress in dark clothes these days, why I draw pictures full of pain and darkness, why most of my poems & songs are so dark.

You may not listen to me when I tell you to BE CAREFUL ON THE INTERNET. REALLY CAREFUL. I was never playing when I actually chatted to people. I was being myself b/c sometimes reality is just to boring. I know different. I have to always be myself and when I played someone slightly different, it backfired, and it hurt me badly in the end.

When that happened, I was so devasted that I truly hurt myself, not enough so that I had to go the hospital, but enough so I feel physical pain to cover my emotional pain. The internet can be real sometimes, too. Ok, so I hurt myself, and then its started affected my life as well, my relationships with my family just…went away….I mean it was like I pulled away from them, and I did as much as I could. I cried, ok. I CRIED. CRIED BECAUSE I FELT SO ALONE IN THE WORLD. I’m not making this up, people.

CAUSING MYSELF PAIN AND CRYING was how I let my emotional pain out. I’m not one to be touchy-feely with people and explain my problems, so I let it out some other way. AND NO ONE KNEW MY CRIES. Noone cared. Noone asked, not even my parents, not even my friends, but ONE. Ash.

The reason I’m all into drawing, I’m into listening to my music, writing my stories, writing my poems, writing my songs, reading, and taking HARD classes in HS is to escape from PAIN, to let PAIN out. I think Linkin Park’s music is most intuned with what I feel, and its why I’m a BIG fan of theirs.

But I also found another salvation in this cruel world besides Ash, peeps. And that’s Manny. Do you wanna know how I met Manny? Well, we were “going to get married” and when I say that I mean in a fake sense. LOL. Not following? Well, anyways, he was flattered that I asked him to marry me. (ok, PPL, this is not a real marriage.) I asked Manny b/c, well, b/c he seemed like a nice guy, and also….I don’t know. All I know is that I HAD to pick Manny (this sounds like….yeah). So, he and I talked to eachother, and he later made me a beautiful poem called “The Dragon and the Dove” I keep it very dear to me. And then later he made a song, I think, for me called “How Shall We Fly?” I made him songs called “Here With You” “Everything to Me” “His Angel”. I have a poem to give him soon before Dec. 4th which is his B-day called “Eternal Duel.”

I love Manny very much. He makes me … happy. I mean it. He says such kind words that lift my heart and make the world all the more bearable to me. I want to meet him someday in person, truly. Did you guys think I knew him IRL? I wish.

The only problem that hurt me was when I said “Living for You, Amy” at the end of my chat thingy, he said “Living for me? We’re thousands of miles away, Amy, live for someone a little closer to home.” It makes my heart hurt just looking at that reply. I think my heart stopped for an instant when I first read that, and my stomach twisted in knots. (Ok, I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry, I’m not…oh, gosh, I’m crying.) And I refuse to compare Manny to most of the other guys I know.

So, I’m back to square one in holding in my pain, not that very many care anyways, right?

Naw, no one cares.

Anyways, I haven’t talked to Ryu for a long time. I missed in B-day on Oct. 2, but I wrote him a song called “Memories” to make up for it. It shows my true feelings to him. You know, I used to always stay up thinking about Ryu when I used to talk to him alot. He was … a very dear friend of mine and I shall not ever forget him. (Sounds like he died, but I wish.) Me and him used to always fight and Ash used to yell at us. I miss the good old days. Now, he’s at the Bent Lounge, lefy the Ronin Lounge/Anime Rise, and he’s like so into the Clanball Wars, which I’m supposed to be in, but I gave up after….100+ pages later. ~_~’

Thanksgiving, nummy (I’m being sarcastic.) My family’s coming over to my house soon, about now or so cus its already 1:00. Listening to Linkin Park’s Meteora…or was til I put my radio on turner on WHY 101. Nothing much is on right now.
[End 12:56 PM 11/25/04]

[Later 5:03 PM 11/25/04]
My Thanksgiving is HELL. No one came until like 3:00 and that was just my aunt alone with her boyfriend. And then my uncle comes about an hour later, in which had already eaten alone. My grandpa comes next about about 4:30. Gosh, it only gets worse.

Sometimes I get in fights with my uncle besides the whole “where’s my cake?” shitake. My uncle thinks I called him “A Fucking Asshole.” I didn’t. When he scared me when I was driving, what I said when I got out the car was “You fucking scared me.” I don’t mean to cus, but it really scared me cus I hadn’t seen his truck behind me. THEY LAUGHED, and now he’s taking it out on me now. I would never call my uncle an asshole to his face ever. On my own grave do I say that I never called him no such name.

Ok, so, he’s pissed at me. And he hurt me, by pinching me HARD, and says “Where’s my chocolate cake?” and “Don’t you ever call me a fucking asshole again.” I NEVER CALLED HIM THAT, and he doesn’t believe me! THAT IS BULL! I don’t ever like to get blamed for something I didn’t and wouldn’t ever do. This is CR@POLA!

Hell! This Thanksgiving SUX! All my cousins are either guys are kids way younger than I. I HATE THIS AND I HAVE ALWAYS HATED IT.

Kathryn’s finally asleep. She wouldn’t go with anyone else, but my mom, not even Tito, which she usually likes to go to also. But no today. I’m glad she’s asleep, b/c she was really getting grouchy. Literally.

I SO want to get away from here. If I could drive, I’d be OUT. Anywhere, but here. I feeling like cussing a streamline b/c I’m so angry and so sad. I told you I feel so alone, and its not b/c I’m alone on purpose.

I have this killer headache and its been going on since….Monday. The othert day it was pounding, so bad that Mom got home before I could mop the floor and clean the counters b/c I fell asleep. I took medicine for my headache, but it came back. Sucky, sucky, sucky HOLIDAY!
[End 5:16 PM 11/25/04]

[Start 7:57 AM 11/26/04]
Ok, Thanksgiving got a little better. I mean my uncle and my aunt’s eldest son who came got all drunk, so it was crazy after that. They were talking about who had the most butt hairs. I was all “ew.” So, they wanted me to be judge and I didn’t want to and they kept on insisting, but no. That’s sick.

My cousin, Adam, didn’t want to stay over our house at first, but then he said, “I don’t want to be there when they’re vomiting. Just the sound makes me want to vomit.” Gosh, I’m glad my parents aren’t drinkers. I never had to worry about my parents like that.

And you know what I thought of right now? The age of dating. Did you know my parents wouldn’t let me date until I was 17? But then my brother comes along and they say its alright for him and he’s not even close to 17!!! WTF is up with that?! It don’t matter anyhow. What they don’t know won’t hurt them….right now.

And now I have nothing to talk about since I practically spilled my guts yesterday when I too was bored. LOL. But listen, I’m going to post something that I posted at the Ronin Lounge…or, er, Anime Rise now.

-+
Ok, for all of you reading this, don’t laugh. You may think my problem is flattering, but I’m not one for this kind of stuff. I’m not a touchy-feeling person, not into social groups, not into giving hugs unless they are very close friends — I’m just not that kind of person. This problem started happening about 2-3 weeks ago and again I say, some of you may not find it a problem.

There’s this weird guy in my grade (Junior) who I’ve known since I think 2nd grade (I went to alot of schools.) Ok, he’s just….there…my friends don’t even talk to him or acknowledge him cus he’s weird and sometimes mean. I’m not one to be mean unless people are mean back at me, so I talked to him, listened, answered, and you know, wasn’t mean to him. So, one day, he BUYS ME lunch. I think looked like I was all astonished. he was being nice about it, and so I took it, shrugging. I thanked him.

A week later it started getting cold, so I sat at the stage with my friends, shivering at lunch. I went to stand by my friend, Z, and stood close to him –I have to tell you, we have four couples in our group and they digust me, they need a room– and then R (let’s not use names) out his arms over me. I froze and moved away to the other side of Z. I was freaked.

A couple of days later, my friend, T, and I were talking. He went to stand in line instead of going out this time and he was gone for a few second. R sat next to me. ‘Oh god!’ I thought. ‘I think he likes me!’ T came back and I moved backpacks over to ket him sit next to me, but no-o-o-o-o-o. R scooted closer to me, so I just stood and went away. So embarrassing!

Don’t think I’m “bad” because I was talking to T, Z, and now A since they’re guys. There’s a bunch of guys at our group. Ok, A was in a pissy mood one day, and since he and I “quarrel” with eachother since we first met at HD’s party, I thought to make him feel better by trying to push his arse off the freakin’ stage. When he didn’t budge, I sat next to him and asked him what’s wrong and he didn’t say why. Anyways, who should on the other side of me, but R! Luckily my friend’s boyfriend was kicking me from behind, so I managed to get AWAY from R.

Now, I’m not paranoid, but I do think he likes me since he tried to give me food again and all, but I DON’T like him, and haven’t a cruel heart to tell him off. That’s me.

On the 5th of Nov., I had been gone the day before and was missing until lunch ‘cus of Foggy schedule. He all of a sudden comes up to me and NOT hugs me, but puts his arms AROUND ME that it looked straight out like he was my b/f. I quickly evaded and stayed away from him! He’s really pissin’ me off! I try to go out to lunch with my friend, Z, as much as possible, but still, when I come back, R’s there! Argh! I can’t just tell him straight out to leave me alone ‘cus I’m afraid to also hurt his feelings which is a #1 no-no in my book of how I should treat others.

I don’t know what to do! It’s all embarrassing as heck and straight out annoying. I don’t like people touching me and one time he tried to HOLD MY HAND and this whole thing is embarrassing b/c my friends KNOW he likes me! *takes deep breaths*
-+

And that’s what happened a few weaks back AND I’M GLAD he doesn’t bother me anymore. I hate having guys I don’t like much hang all over me, but I hate even more to hurt people.
[End 8:11 AM 11/26/04]

[Start 8:04 PM 11/27/04]
I got home about 30 minutes ago. We went to Paso Robles to go see my dad’s side of the family for 2 days and 1 night. Its wasn’t all that bad. I mean, we did get to see our cousins, but it was mostly boring since we had nothing much to do over there other than watch TV and play XBox, which was cool.

I’m so bored. I’m supposed to do my HW for AP US History, but I’m tired right now. I have ANOTHER BAD headache and its killing me. Why can’t they make aspirin to last ALL DAY? -__-‘

I’m making a new story. Rated R/MATURE since it’s gonna have … stuff not meant for the eyes of the youngins. LOL. The main character’s name is Ravyn, and he’s this all new species after the practical destruction of Earth in the 31st Century. He’s no new-new so to speak. He’s the last of his line b/c he killed all his kind b/c he thought them evil. But who is he to say who is evil when he’s killing other people due to his belief that THEY are evil? He’s a badass good/bad guy (somehow.) ^^’
[End 8:13 PM 11/27/04]

WARNING. THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE.

[Start 4:03 PM 11/29/04]
Oh! If every wound you got on your heart were real, then I’d surely be dead by now and then I wouldn’t have to suffer in loneliness for much longer than my 16 years.

Today was not going so well anyways to begin with, but HELL, the blow that took me near the end of school would’ve KILLED ME, and then I would’ve died with a smile after a few minutes later, a cold smile.

I was lokking through the internet in my computer app. class b/c I finished with all my work (my database for the Student Store and Environmental Portrait.) Well, what comes up, but someone’s journal that I know. You would’ve though I was mentioned, but no, and what I read so cut something of my heart AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. It hurts thinking about it right now.

I was about to cry or at least scream in fustration in the classroom, but I stopped before it happened. I was about to cry on the bus ride home, although a few tears escaped. I was waiting to go home, then I could cry alone. ALL ALONE where I wouldn’t have to smile at those I loved in the escape of my room. No, I didn’t cry, but I did get that chill you get that cannot be taken away no matter how hot your house is. It just won’t go. I ate about a dozen cookies in my depression.

What was written, I cannot change, and will not share.

But then I saw Ryu at the Bent Lounge. Smile, smile, answering his PM that I forgot for a moment my de-fuckin’-spair.

I could be a cold bitch for having been hurt alot, but that wouldn’t be fair to my friends since they didn’t do anything at all to deserve my cold exterior. A bitch of a predicament, and I knew the time would come when it was all too good to be true. I know, I shouldn’t be mad, but I can’t help it. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SPECIAL TO THEM, BUT YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER PERSON.

Oh, this just makes me a damned little fool.

“I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again”
-‘By Myself,’ Linkin Park

So besides the fact that I can’t trust anyone anymore anywhere anytime, Ryu made my day better. Dam*, it just makes me happy to hear from him after about 3-4 months. Although, I’m a little freaked with his RPG w/ him molested like a sack of potatoes. o_O’ That’s scary and I for sure thought Ash’s and my obsession with him and some random guy had gone far in that blonde little head of his. He said it was ONLY an RPG in which wasn’t his fault. Yeah, sure, but you went along with it, dude. >_>’

Now, I feel a bit better…trying to ignore my chill, but its…there. Cyou peeps.

[Later 11:23 PM 11/29/04]
Can’t sleep. I think I have INSOMNIA or sumtin. Seriously I sleep for while and than WAKE like today. I can’t sleep, so I’m listening to some music from WHY 101 again.

I was looking through Digi’s blog and then Ryuzoka’s…I think Digi and me are both leaning in the same direction as to what type of music we listen to. I’m not into HEAVY METAL ROCK, just…rock….or w/e you call the type Hoobastank, Yellowcard, Trapt, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Story of the Year, Three Doors Down, etc. play. Then I listen to Good Charlotte, Avril Lavigne, I’m so a No Doubt fan, Do As Infinity(JPop group) and of course, lets not forget some hip-hop/rap in there. Nelly and Usher are THE-fukin’-bomb. Oh yes, JPop and JRock. If you love anime, you must love Japanese music too.

BTW, I saw Full Metal Alchemist some time ago and Ghost in the Shell on Adult Swim….awesome. I was so totally blown away. Just how I like my anime….BLOODY WITH HOT GUYS. LOL. j/k. Then I saw Yu Yu Hakusho: The Movie….Kurama is so cool. I can never tire of his face nor his other form ….with …..silver….silver…..silver….HAIR. I like my anime guys with silver/white hair for some reason. ^^’ Black or Blonde hair come in next followed by all the other colors altho….Dark from DNAngel looks hot with VIOLET HAIR. Can’t resist that color on a guy. LOL.

I’m waiting…for the 4th book of the Meredith Gentry Series by Laurell K. Hamilton to some out. I WANT IT SO BAD. As well as all 12 BOOKS of her Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series. Then X:The Series….all the DVDs….I WANT…..SO BAD……CUS KAMUI’S TIGHT >_>’

Y is a direct variation of X. Y=-108 when X=45; x-values: 2, 2.5, and 3
What is Y? Oh yeah, easy Algbra 2 Honors HW tonight. Then I have to figure out Y when x=# and z=#, oh and Y=KXZ/W. So easy.

Age of Romanticism [In America] (1800-1860)

“They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night” -Edgar Allan Poe (That is an awesome quote)

-believe imagination was able to apprehend truth
-emphasis on emotion/imagination/intuition
-the unknown came more important to the know (Makes sense)

-searched for exotic things like through the supernatural realm, realm of old legends, and folklore (what I’m into)
-against rationalism (I like to be rational too, could you be both?)

Example:
“The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne 1850 (Never read it, but heard it was good, but boring. HUH?)
“Tails of the Grotesque and Arabesque” by Edgar Allan Poe 1840

-At the time, expansion was going on ex. Lousisana Purchase 1803

Further News-I’ve read 1 million words w/o testing. Need one more Accelerated Reader Book Test to make 1 million words for the school. I hope I’m still top #1 up in the chart.

AP US History “The Civil War and Reconstruction of the South”
http://blackhistory.harpweek.com/7Illustrations/!ListOfIllusLevelOne.htm
***This should be fun. Not even the school computers let us go onto this site and I don’t have the dam*ed internet right now. How am I supposed to do this? I don’t even know if my friend, Kryss will come.

-“How successful was Reconstruction with regard to securing equal rights for African-American?”
—–Not very, anyhow. The South wanted their “slaves” back and they tried every means to do so, so when the troops left the Southern states, they went straight back to their government. The North didn’t give protection to the African-Americans, only rights, emancipation, and suffrage to Black males. At least an African-American got a five-fifths vote instead of that stupid three-fifths of a person for every Black vote in the South. Congress may have put up the Freedmen’s Bureau for all Black and “poor” White men with provision of clothing, food, and education, but who was to protect them (literally) when the Ku Klux Klan came about? Rights were not so good with African-Americans in the South.

***At least I read Chapter 21 & 22 this time and got a 40/40 on my quiz which is good compared to my Chapter 13-19 Test. That was LOW. I got a D …..a D- in a class course like college! ARGH!

Chemistry- What’s this stuff about balancing equations? That’s like elementary school math. EASY. The only thing I have trouble is the dumb Polyatomic molecules and my Hydrochloric acids stuff. I keep forgetting (Na) is Sodium! >_<'

"Cus you lost it all/Nothing lasts forever/I'm sorry I can't be perfect…" What's the name of this song and who sings it? I forgot, but I like it.

Oh good, its the next day. ShitAKE!
[End 12:11 AM 11/30/04]

[Start 8:43 PM 11/30/04]
I'm so fuckin' angry. You can't see it if you look at me, but I'm seathing with anger. OK, this is what happened. For lunch, I couldn't eat because I had to go to my AP US History class to make test correctios, so I would at least get a B on the test, so I didn't get done til 5 minutes before the bell would actually ring for lunch to end. I had asked someone to get me copies of some political cartoon from the Computer class since the library won't allow any student for access in that site. Anyways, I went to the computer class, but it hadn't actually started printing til about a minute before the tardy bell rang for 6th period.

The printing took FOREVER. 10 minutes since 6th period started is when it fuckin' stopped printing. So I asked the teacher if I could have a pass to 6th period or I'd be TARDY to class. He said no. The bastard said NO! I asked why and he said that I should've done it earlier. WTF?!?! I was BUSY that day. How the hell am I supposed to make-up a test and print about 20 pages of political cartoons for my AP Class in 45 minutes?!?! I had missed A LOT of questions on my test, so that took most of my lunch time.

BTW, my Chemistry teacher is a bi-atch. If I was tardy, I would have to spend 5 minutes after class which was 5 minutes I couldn't lose. I have to walk across the school (that's like 5 minutes walking right there) before I can get to the damned bus getting a GOOD SEAT IF I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH.

I was SO LUCKY that we had a sub for chemistry. MY DUMB LUCK. Oh, I knew that was shit right there when the computer teacher told me NO. BULL-FUCKIN-SHIT!

Hm, I got a PM from Manny back. He was the first to tell me Merry Christmas. I told him happy holidays though since New Years is in the same corner. LOL. I didn't get a PM from Ryu from yesterday back, but I sent him one anyways. I forgot to show/tell him sumtin again.

And then the BALLS came. LOL. My friend, Stephanie, me, and my other friend, Lisa, were talking on the bus this morning. Lisa was listening to music at first, but me and Steph were talking about twinkies and balls. I asked her if she like them hard or soft. And Steph had her mouth open, but then laughed, and starting….more disgusting comments. LOL. Then Steph asked Lisa if she liked her balls soft or hard. Lisa was like, "You guys are dumb. There is no way I'm answering that." And then 'sarcastically' she said, "I like my balls frozen." She was trying to avoid answering in a way. Me and Steph burst out laughing, crying after a while. Lisa had her mouth open, shocked after a while of figuring out why we were laughing AT HER. Oh, gosh, that was so hilarious.

Back to AP HW, peeps. Laters.
[End 9:02 PM 11/30/04]

[Later 10:47 PM 11/30/04]
I did part of my HW. Its just so….irritating to answer the questions that MAKE YOU THINK TOO HARD and it gives me a headache. Hell, I'm not gonna read the book it tells me to read, when I could do some of it off the top of my head.

I finally had an inspiration to draw, which I did when I was supposed to be doing HW in the first place. I'm sorry, but I like the art of-

BREAKING THE HABIT! I don't know what's worth fighting for….I don't know how I got this way…..So I'm breaking the habit, breaking the habit, tonight…. (Man, I love this song. Anyways….)

-D.N.Angel, so much as well as the art that CLAMP does for some of their manga like X/1999. Right now, its DNAngel. So, I'm drawing this guy using the same tenchnique as the artist does for DNAngel. I can't help it. Look at the pics/art of DNAngel (http://animevisions.com) and drool all over it cus Dark is so damned sexy.

Mm, its been awfully chilly these days in the valley of California. Not much rain or fog, but it was supposed to snow last weekend. Believe me, snowing is VERY, VERY RARE here in the San Joaquin Valley. The last time we got snow was for one day on Jan. 25 of 1999, and then before that was about 50 years earlier, I think. We are amazed of snow, but some of you who are used to snow would be amazed at the amount of fog we get here. A LOT. This year, tho, there seems not be be a whole lot. That's a good thing especially during school time near the end of the Semester. I can't believe half of my Junior year is almost gone.

Today, I went outside to catch the bus about 7:20 and any surface area outside had a thick layer of frost. I couldn't even tell if my car was blue or not. I don't think wiping the front window with the wind-shield wipers would have helped either cus it was ALL STUCK ON THERE. But the view was great. There's a big coral for horses and mules in my backyard basically, so they grass there was all white-green and sparkly. It was so pretty, and that's why I love winter. The shear beauty of Winter is breath-taking. To a person who dismisses nature, you are missing out. I mean, I usually HATE going outside, but I appreciate the beauty of nature itself.

I hope we go the Sequoias this winter. It'd be fun to go sliding down the slopes again. The sad part is freezing your ass off, literally.
[End 11:03 PM 11/30/04]

Now….I need to e-mail Kev. I miss him.

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