Archive for January, 2005


I’m angry at myself. Angry and depressed. I don’t know why, but I just do. Then when I went to the library, checked the Bent Lounge….*sighs*…everytime I see Manny’s name, it makes me sad and angry b/c I have neglected to talk to him….It’s all my f- fault. I know, I usually argue that I’M right, but now….now….I don’t feel like it. >o

[Start 1:15 PM 1/30/05]
So, I haven’t written anything for a long time. The truth is I havne’t found the time nor wanted to type anything that’s been going on in my life. You know, its the usual-usual…homework like crzy keepin me up til about 11 at night.

Listening to “Rich Girl” by Gwen Stefani.

So, news……..nothing much. I mean, I did have something to talk about when I called Star like on Wednesday. We talked for over 2 hours which was bad for my cell minutes. >_>;; I get about a thousand minutes everything month BUT free minutes and long distance at night starting from 7 to the morning and then on weekends. ^^;; My mommy pays my bill. It was her cell before she got a new one, so she gave it to me. It may look big and all, but it has more minutes than most PPL’s and it’s a two-way cell, so that I don’t have to wait for my dad to answer his phone. -_-‘ G2g.
[End 1:21 PM 1/30/05]

[Continued 1:50 PM 1/30/05:From what I e-mailed to Kev]
Ok, enough about that. I almost lost my wallet the other day. I got off the bus and checked the back pocket of my pant and then— O___O I LOST MY WALLET!!! Heh, I couldn’t get off campus without it cus my School ID card was in there, luckily, minus my money. (Freshmen and Sophmore’s can’t get off campus while if you’re a Junior, like me, or Senior, you have to show your School ID card to the teachers at the gate to get out and eat at Taco Bell, Dominos, Jack in the Box, or something.) When I went to my Chemistry class about 2 days later, the teacher put on the board “Amy H. see me.” I thought I was in trouble cus i hadn’t turned in some work that I didn’t do when I was absent. Heh. My bad.

We had a family party last week for no reason, and my friend, Troy, was mad at me cus i didn’t invite him. >_>;; I didn’t invite him cus it was a family thing. heh. On Saturday there was one of my step-cousins/neighbors, and it was boring mostly. I didn’t eat b/c I had already eaten at home, and there were NO kids my age. Oh, sure, there was some Freshmen there, but I DON’T HANG OUT WITH FRESHMEN FROM WESTERN HS WHEN I GO TO UNION HS. Besides, I’m so not into hanging out with wanna-be Freshmen preps. Don’t get me wrong, but they SO want to be in the “in” crowd. They made me feel short too. Imagine me, a Junior so short, that there are Freshmen taller than me. I feel so short. LOL.

Anywho, I typed a little here and there on my stories. So far, my ‘Serpent in Darkness’ has 9 chapters with 35-40 pages in it. If you want to read it, but I have to warn you, you shouldn’t b/c its rated R for mature content, it can be found in the Library of under the author ‘Asher’ for reasons that escape me when I already have about 10 other alias names. Heh. *sighs*

I haven’t done so well in drawing lately. I did draw something on 1/28 of Daks whose an elf. >_>;; He’s not in any story, just an anonymous character which I do alot. I always give my character names no matter if they are in a story or not. I made up the name Daks b/c 1)He’s an elf 2)A Japanese name wouldn’t just do 3)I was too lazy to look up a Japanese name anyways. LOL. I want to go to Star’s house soon, to scan my lovely pic. To make it official….

“Daks, the elf (who looks like Link from ‘The Legend of Zelda’) is dedicated to Kevin, my Fire Angel, the reason I’m still happy, and my inspiration.”
[End 2:01 PM 1/30/05]
[Start 4:29 PM 12/26/04]

Ok, this is what happened. My eldest brother, Steve, gets bored cus we stay at home TOO MUCH. So, he decides to go driving in my dad’s car. He asked me if I wanted to go and I smiled and said, “I don’t trust you.” Then he takes my LITTLE BROTHERS, Daniel(2) and Roberto(14). My mom was washing dishes and I had barely put the baby to bed, and mom told me to put on a DVD. I went looking for a movie to put on. THEN, Daniel comes in crying and Roberto comes in with the right upper part of his forehead BLEEDING. At first it didn’t comprehend in my head, but then the crying and the BLEEDING sunk into my head. I stayed calm and didn’t cry cus I KNOW I was scared. My mom saw and heard and she was YELLING, “WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” She began to cry REALLY badly and grabbed Daniel into a fierce hug, crying and crying. “WHAT HAPPENED?!” Roberto was saying, “Mom, we hit the pole. Steve hit it.” And then Steve came in telling mom too. Mom was crying and took Daniel onto her shoulder looking at Steve and Roberto cus they both hit the glass of the car. Roberto had protected Daniel and NONE were wearing seat belts. My mom told me to call my dad, but by then, my dad had already come home. He was yelling at Steve and Roberto, “WHO TOLD YOU TO DRIVE?!?! WHO TOLD YOU TO GO?!?!” and he yelled at my mom too, but I think he was really scared. My mom had me check Daniel for injuries, but the only thing he got was a bump on his head. My mom told them each NOT TO FALL ASLEEP, and was trying to keep Daniel awake, holding him, still crying.

My dad and Steve went to go look at the jeep, where it was stuck into the pole kind on the front right side. My brothers were bleeding with glass stuck in their head a little cus they had BOTH hit the glass. They both were cleaning their injuries BUT we didn’t have anything to help other then alcohol and a few bandaids. My dad had a worker bring the car close to the house by the tractor, and then they pushed it into the garage. I didn’t see it yet. My mom and dad HAD to take the boys to the doctor cus mom was afraid they had a concussion, especially Daniel. They barely left a little while ago and I’m with Kathryn (she’s watching Garfield.) Steve was like, “Don’t tell Tio Ruben; don’t let anyone in the garage.” Ok.

THE IRONICY!!!!!!!!!!


How so ironic! It’s a good thing I didn’t go either. It seemed like a simple thing to let go when I wanted to go out, too. “I DON’T TRUST YOU!”
[End 4:49 PM 12/26/04]
[Start 12:49 AM 12/24/04]
Boy, I have not written in a LONG TIME. There was stuff to write, but…I got caught up in my brother’s GBA SP with the Pokemon game. >>’ I know, I know, Pokemon sux, but that don’t mean I have to dis the games. LOL.

Anyways….lets see…..On Friday last week, I had to stay home to watch the kids. Ash had told me the day before to call her and I did, but then my parents/dad didn’t tell me nuttin. Ash told me she’d come over and give me “something” (hee hee). She did come over and we talked for a while here. Kathryn wasn’t all that “likeable” to Ash, but then Kathryn doesn’t like PPL the first time she sees them. My dad called the house cus he saw Ash’s car outside and he said it was okay to go with Ash, so I left the kids w/ my brother. He didn’t like that idea. Oh well.

It was cool at Ash’s house like always. I mean, I HATE being at my house for the fact that I’m there constantly and my parents don’t let me stay at my friends’ houses, but they let my brother when he asked. Let me tell you, it got REALLY foggy that day, so my mom had to pick me up later cus Ash’s mom wouldn’t let her take me home. So sad. But the time at Ash’s house was fun while it lasted. Ryu wasn’t all that “enthusiastic” about me. How very, very sad. He didn’t even acknowledge me as if I was just the IM wallpaper. He said he had a bad day, I guess, but if I had a bad day, I could at least say hi to my friends and BE HAPPY b/c I don’t see/talk to them all that much. Daniel was being….weird. >>’ He was actually singing “Rumors” which straight out had Ash, Z, and me laughing our asses off there in Ash’s room. Z was being mean to Daniel, so remind me never to get on her bad side. -_-‘ I talked to Brit too. ^-^ So glad to hear from her, but not Cody. *sigh* I guess I can’t have everything.

Saturday….a better day. This was when I finally got my X-mas money: $120. You may think that’s alot, but it wasn’t truly. Why? I HAD to buy ALL my friends gifts AND my parents. I barely had enough to buy me to Rurounin Kenshin DVDs. What little money I had left ($16) I had to give to my mom to buy me clothes. -_-‘ $120 is NOT ENOUGH FOR ANYTHING THESE DAYS.

Sunday….a BAD DAY. We went out again to buy more stuff, but mom got really mad when I asked her to drop off my gifts for my friends. Let me tell you, though, THEY ALL gave mye hugs except for Z, Zach, Kryss, and Murdoc, which is good b/c I didn’t really see them. I left Z and Zach’s gift w/ Ash, and Murdoc and Kryss weren’t home. ^_^ But everyone gave me hugs and it was so nice. A good feeling in me that let that sadness from my mom’s mood seep away a little until I got back into the car. -_- Somethings just don’t last.

So, the rest of the week…I did nothing. Tomorrow PPL are coming over, but mom’s pissy like always that we didn’t “clean” but we did. We never make her happy.

BTW, I got a 4.00 this semester. I’m so sad. It was the B+ in Chemistry that did it or I would of gotten a 4.17 if it was an A-. I hate Chemistry.
[End 1:12 AM 12/24/04]
[Start 7:55 AM 12/17/04]
Man, I was so busy this whole week until now….Friday. I had been sleeping at 12:00 in the morning finishishing up HW and studying for benchmarks and Finals for the sememster. In my English class, our final was an essay with the prompt asking “What is the American Dream?” Six paragraphs, 4 main body paragraphs using our notes on the Puritan Era, the Revolutionary era, the age of Romanticism, and the age of Realism. Mine ended up being 4 pages long, but that’s all right. My thesis for the first paragraph, I put what I thought I would put if it were an AP US History essay with the PROPER thesis in which I can never get right b/c I suck at it. I always get a 3/9 on my AP US History essays.

I KNOW I failed my Chemistry benchmark b/c it was just too little questions with so many damn points. I didn’t know jack sh*take and even if I tried to reason it out with math, it just didn’t compute. I meant the last part of the test, the written part, not the multiple choice which sucked!

My Algebra II benchmark took me the whole period which was over an hour and 30 (15 minutes we talked and handed out tests – 1 hour and 45 minuted total in class for Winter Schedule). I guess on the last few questions of the no-calculator part b/c I just wanted to get to the calsulator part and BE DONE WITH IT. Actually, I didn’t think most of the final was hard. Pretty easy.

I saw my grade for my AP US History test and benchmark at lunch when I finally got out of my Algebra II class. 60%! A D-! That was the worst test ever! But my benchmark was good. 93% which means I ONLY missed 1 questions out of the 10 or so questions for it.

My other 2 classes were pretty much easy. Weight Training and Computer Applications. A fly by with the little work to be done.

So, Kryss finally gave me a disk that held her story ‘A World Hidden in Ours.’ It’s a pretty good story, just needs a little work, so I’m going to edit what little I could offer and tell her a few comments on what should be done. The ending is sad, and I got lost for a while. LOL. I think she guesses that was my intention. ^-^’ It’s a good thing I e-mail Kevin before Winter break came or he would’ve been waiting for me to e-mail in the next 3 weeks too. I told him heads up that I won’t be able to e-mail him for a while til January 10. How sad for me and him.

Then I got a PM from Ash asking what I was going to do today and to call I her. I called her yesterday and now that I look back, it souded rude. Gosh, I’m such a BAD friend. I need to get her gift soon. Here’s my list:
[x]Lee Anne
I don’t know what to get them and it can’t be EXPENSIVE! I don’t have that kind of money. I’m so poor. I don’t think I can get Daniel, Steve, Kathryn, or Roberto a gift either. I give them “my love.” Is that okay? ^_^;; LOL.

Daniel(my friend not my brother) finally talks to me again. He said he was ignoring me b/c I never said “Hi” to him or anything. Ok. I said sorry and I meant it. I DO usually say Hi to people and try not to be mean. Again, I’m a BAD friend. Anyways, he gave me a card with a Sesshoumaru naked and censored! >__>’ Just hope he doesn’t see this. ^^’

Lee Ann gave me her senior picture. Aww….she’s so pretty. And it makes me think of when I’m getting my senior picture done. >_<' AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! You guys do realize how many I have to give out? A whole gang on my dad's side of the family, another gang to my mom's side of the family (we have a HUGE family) which included sending pictures to my aunt in Wisconsin, and my grandparents & family in El Salvador(a country in Central America). Then I have to give out pictures to ALL my friends too. That includes Brit, Cody(if we could find him), V, and Tiff who all graduated last year. Man, I'm so not ready for Senior year. Laters ^_~
[End 8:30 AM 12/17/04]
[Start 10:59 AM 12/12/04]
So, I watched all my Saturday mornin' cartoons. LOL. I gotta say it was a good 2 days worth. Watched Shaman King, Teen Titans, and Winx Club. The last episode of the Winx Club, but I think there's going to be more to the series. I mean, they only went through Freshmen year, they still need Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years.

Hm, I haven't seen my babies for 3 days, and the house seems too quiet. I wonder how Kathryn and Daniel are and if they sleep peacefully at night. I haven't even seen much of my mother for the past week. My brothers and I have been alone for most of the weekends, taking care of ourselves, and feeding our dad. Its not even funny that I haven't seen my family much, but my brothers. My dad works alot too, so we see him at lunch only on the weekends and after 5 PM everyday. So sad.

I wish I could go over to Ash's house, but I haven't even seen my mom to ask permission to go, and we have NO PHONE LINE, so I can't even call on her cell phone. This whole life is fucked up, I can't stand it. FUCKED UP, FUCKED UP, FUCKED UP, FUCKEDUPFUCKEDUPFUCKEDUPFUCKEDUPFUCKEDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, nothing to do….again for who know how many times. I managed to read Memoirs of a Geisha, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Heaven and Earth, Dance Upon the Air, and I'm going to start reading Kingdom of the Golden Dragon. Maybe I can start drawing again or maybe I can continue typing away any of my half a dozen stories that I have started and haven't finished. Saw Jersey Girl this weekend and that's it. Too much time to waste.

I'm gonna go for now. Later.



Currently Reading
Narcissus in Chains (Anita Blake Vampire Hunter (Paperback))
By Laurell K. Hamilton

Boredom to the max. Just here on my Computer App. class doing 3D art. Perspective.

I’m a very violent-loving person. Why? I LOVE Laurell K. Hamilton’s books! You gotta read them, people!

Happy New Years

Currently Watching
Samurai Deeper Kyo – Demon Awakens (Episodes 1-5)

Whooo!!!!!!Finally got to go to Ash’s house again. So, here I am watching DVDs (anime style) GALORE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Ok, I just saw DNAngel and it was GOOD!

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