Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

Sad and Sick

I feel like throwing up. Either because of what I ate or because of anxiety. Don’t know. I just wanna lay down, sleep…

 

…and never wake up. Seriously. Have had a bad case of suicidal thoughts for a while now. Often wondering what I’m living for anymore. Wonder how so many people could walk through life…as boring as it is…and simply live it. I can’t… I can’t live alone. And the one person I want…causes me so much agony in my chest. I’d rather someone stab me in the heart; it’d be less painful than the heartache.

I’m so bottled up with emotions, I want to scream. Its there…waiting for me to let it out, but I can’t. I don’t feel anyone…deserves to see me weak. Why should they when they never noticed before how sad I was? And when I voiced my sorrows, they laughed or threw it back in my face. Where were they when I needed them? And now I feel so alone again… After 7 years… Nothing has changed.

Apathetic Me

Do you know what’s sad? To be sad that I’m not sad over the fact that very little is starting to matter to me. I guess the only things that still move me are art and my boyfriend. Maybe my friends. It depends. But yeh, most of my stuff… The shit that I’ve treasured for…. many years… they just started to mean little. I only have most of it cus I’m a pack rat and they were given to me, but yeh… Not really.

♩♩ ♪♪ ♬ ♪♪♪ ♬

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